Banksy on the White cube

Banksy on the White cube
Originally uploaded by .ch-ching.

Viewing the dead.....

To view the dead or not to view the dead that is the question....
HUmmm I have the opportunity to see a dead body tomorrow.... I'm spending a day finding out what it is like to be a female undertaker and inevitably as part of this I'll have the chance to see a dead body. When I was 14 i'd have lept at the chance now I'm a bit scared.... wusss
Fuck it - I think I'll just go for it... people do it every day so it can't be that weird...

A short story for ya - let me know what you think

My wedding was a fucking mess wasn’t it? We invited his uncle Kirk – always a mistake cas he’s a total hard case, likes to get pissed up in the social and then go around picking fights with kids coming out of the pubs. They think he’s a pissed old fool don’t know he was a pro boxer and’s won gold medals for weight lifting – well you wouldn’t think it really he’s over 60 – and it’s the over 50s he’s won the medals in – in the fucking blind games. Like I said nutter.
Getting the two families together is always dangerous, there’s history – not Romeo and Julliet but you get the picture – but everyone always says its always kept underwraps for weddings, All my friends said that.

My mum shagged his uncle (yes the walking stick hard bastard) who then cheated on her with her sister my auntie Maureen. Now they’ve made up now but they’re still not talking to him. But his family have got some fucked up idea about forgive and forget especially cos he’s blind.

Do you know why he’s blind? Cos he got into some fucking fight in the shipyards about 20 years ago. I don’t have the exact details but it involved him sticking it in somewhere he shouldn’t nevermind. I think the cheated party worked there – as skinny fella apparently but worked in the cleaning dept where they sent all the machinery to get the rust and black oil and that crap cleaned off it. Anyway working in the cleaning department he had acess to all of this acid and stuff. Knew he couldn’t give it to the blind bugger straight, so sneaky I know – grabbed a tin of acid or summat and flung it all over his face. Well got him right in the eyes. He’s got a few scars on his face but that’s it. Garry says the only time he ever cried was when he got told he wasn’t going to see again and that time he wept like a weak bairn.

Made Garry promise me he would have a word with him, tell him to behave himself. And he was. Everything was going grand. There I was in my Pronuptia dress – fucking beautiful I looked, thousand pound dress, got if for £100 out of the small ads canny fit as well.
Everyone was going well – Kirk was even chatting to me mam and Maureen. Service was lovely – Garry even had a tear in his eye. We left the Civic centre a right picture. Garry’s got a mate who drives cabs and he’d got a bloke with a Merc to drive us around his parents.
They’ve got a massive house on the end of town and we had everyone back there and it was all going well. Did the beer run from France so we had shit loads to drink and all of our mates were there and Kirk starts going off to Garry.

“Aye lad you’ve married into some fine fanny in that family,” he says. My heart fucking sinks I’ve seen him on this before. He acts like it’s all harmless and he’s just a bit pissed but at the same time he’s looking around to see who’s getting the huff and who he can start on.

“H’away Kirk,” Garry say’s “It’s my wedding day for fucks sake.”

“Aye some canny cunt,” he laughs, “And I should fucking know.”

At this point my uncle Bob is up onto his feet. And me dad would’ve been if he hadn’t’ve died – but he was turning in his grave.

“I think you’ve said enough Kirk” Bob says his face getting even redder than it normally is.

“Nah – that lad wants to know what he’s getting himself in for.” He’s spitting now like he’s angry.

“Garry I’ve got to say – every bugger around here knows I’ve had Maureen and Karen, but they were nowt compared to that little bitch.”

I think Kirk’s pointing to me but I’m not sure – with him being blind n that he could be pointing at anyone of five of us including my niece Kerensa whose only 14 and blushes immediately.

“Aye your fucking blushing bride – fucking pissed men around the back of pubs. Dirty slapper.”

Now what the hell am I meant to do? He’s telling total fucking lies – I’m no angel but would I be shagging an old bastard who’s had me Mam and Auntie and then invite him to me wedding?

But everyone’s looking at me know and they all expect me to do or say something.

Suddenly there’s a shriek of laughter and my Uncle Bob is doubled over with laughter.

“Eeeh I never knew whae the bender was but I do now,” he grinned like a maniac.

“That pufter – Mary Blake’s son – said he gave someone a handjob round the back of the social a couple of months ago.
“Wondered who it could be – never had you down for it Kirk.” Bob shook his head.
“Ye want to get that drinking sorted out – I can see ya problem with Ashleigh and Ashley but from a 6ft 4 bloke and mistaking a fuck for a wank – aye divvane nae.”

Like I say fucking mess. Kirk went mental and Garry’s parents aren’t talking to him. Reckon he’s not going to be invited to any family do’s anytime soon lets say.

Funny thing is though I did fuck him – sure as hell didn’t say me name though. Well I needed the money for the dress somehow didn’t I?

Auld Geordie bands...

A very nice man who has been enjoying my Nostalgia pieces about North East bands since the 60s made me a compilation CD of 60s and 70s Tyneside Bands, one of the bands featured was Geordie - first band of Brian Johnson of ACDC fame. I love the version they did of Trad Geordie song “Wor Geordie’s Lost His Liggy” .... It’s been in my head ever since: Here's a couple of verses

Oh Geordie's lost his liggy
Oh Geordie's lost his liggy
Oh Geordie's lost his liggyOh Geordie's lost his liggy
Along the Scotswood Road
And he couldn't find his liggyHe couldn't find his liggy
he couldn't find his liggy
Along the Scotswood Road
{ Yeehoo }
Well, he lost it down the netty
He lost it down the nettyHe lost it down the netty
Along the Scotswood Road
And he couldn't find his liggy
Couldn't find his liggyCouldn't find his liggy
Along the Scotswood Road....

Anyone who wants to find out how it ends should Google it! I didn’t know this - perhaps its cos I’m from Durham - but a liggy is a marble apparently...Some of the records are great some are awful but they’re all Geordie born and bred - the man sent them in cos I wrote a piece about this band: http://www.thebullfrogstory.co.uk they nearly made it in the 70s


The day the music died – and so did Bull Frog
THE music scene in the early 70s was still new and enthusiastic.
The North-East was vibrant and it was a time when you could catch acts such as Led Zeppelin in Newcastle’s Mayfair, The Who at the Locarno in Sunderland and Jimi Hendrix in Durham.
Rock ‘n roll bands keen to capture the mood of the moment were springing up all-over the country, including the North-East.
Bull Frog was one such group, formed in Leadgate, Consett, County Durham, by Steve Thompson, Robin Hird, Mick Simons and Mick Glancy.
Bull Frog is spawned
Steve and Robin attended the same secondary school before both going to work in Consett Steel Works.
In September 1970, lead guitarist Robin offered Steve the chance to play bass guitar in a group he was founding. The duo then recruited Mick Simons on drums and Mick Glancy on vocals to complete the line-up of Mandrake.
The group began rehearsals in a hall in Leadgate, and soon changed their name to Bull Frog.
Steve recalls: “We were building up a set of songs of the time – Hendrix, Cream, Free, that kind of thing. We knew our first gig had to be the Freemasons’ Arms Ballroom in Consett.”
Bull Frog signed up with Ivan Birchall Entertainment which was based in the Cloth Market in Newcastle and started to perform at working men’s clubs all-over the North-East.
Steve, 53, who is married to Molly, 53, with two grown up children, Patrick and Jane, adds: “All was going swimmingly. Then Mick Glancy tells us he is quitting to go to university in London. However, we were very lucky. We put ads in the music shops in Newcastle and one guy auditioned. He was incredible and we gave him the job on the spot. Now we had our new singer, Pete MacDonald.”
Drummer Mick Simons left the band after a failed audition with Decca. He became involved in a fight with Pete and was knocked unconscious. The rest of the band decided they would have to do without Mick.
Jim Harle, now 55 and a traffic policeman in St Albans, had known Pete through his job working as a van driver in Newcastle. Impressed with Bull Frog, he decided to leave his band Tough Childhood and joined in 1972.
Fame beckons
The band’s popularity increased and they were a hit from Darlington to Bedlington and played a number of high-profile concerts.
One was at the Newcastle Odeon cinema where they supported Wishbone Ash in 1973.
Another great gig was with the Pretty Things. The time was right to take things a step further.
Jim recalls: “When we knew we had enough to cover the costs of recording several tracks in a studio, we arranged to spend time in Multicord Studios in Frederick Street, Sunderland.
“We had rehearsed for many hours and knew exactly what we wanted to do when we got into the studio. We laid down enough tracks to put together an LP. At about the same time I happened to buy a blank cassette and inside the case was a flyer advertising “The EMI Search for a Star” competition.
“If EMI liked your music, they would award prizes to the three best acts. We thought that it was worth having a go, so we copied some of our songs on to a tape and posted it.”
The lads were stunned to hear they had come third in the competition and would win £250 and the opportunity to audition for EMI.
Cube Records also said they were interested in Bull Frog and sent a scout. The EMI presentation was set for March 8 1973. Nothing came of that audition but Cube Records – home of Joan Armatrading, Joe Cocker, Jimmy Helms, and John Kongos – signed the band.
The single release
On June 21 1974, Bull Frog’s first single Glancy was released.
Jim says the band were annoyed by the choice of single. “We all felt the ‘B’ side, In the City , was much more representative of our music. But we had no control over what was chosen.”
The single failed to sell. Jim says: “Neither our record company nor our management appeared to make any real effort to publicise the record.”
The band breaks up
Bull Frog did not make any money from their record. Jim says: “We were in a situation which seemed quite hopeless to us. We were contracted to a record company which we felt no longer had any interest in us and wanted us to sell out our ideals.
“We were also involved contractually with a management company that we felt provided us with no support or direction.
“We had also signed a contract for the publishing rights to our music which was not going to be published unless we drastically altered our style.”
The band could not wrestle themselves free of their contract unless they paid back £10,000 to the record company.
Then singer Pete dropped a bombshell. “Pete informed us that he had decided to leave the band,” Jim says.
“We discussed our options and the future for Bull Frog appeared quite bleak. The only way in which we could avoid having to pay back this money was for us to dissolve the band – and collectively say farewell to our dreams.”

Skinny Girl Fat lady

Back on a diet - I was dead good up until about a month before the wedding when I actually found a dress I liked. Since then I’ve pretty much been eating whatever the hell I like and enjoying it.I hate diets - each time is trying to get rid of the demon sat on my shoulder which says: “If you eat you will feel loved” or something. I’m resigned to the fact that I may just be greedy and need to learn how to discipline my eating habits - but it’s like smoking I find - you’ll give up for weeks or months and then it’s “oooh one cigarette when I’m out won’t hurt” and before you know it it’s fifty a day, a voice like Marge Simpson and yellow fingers. Or putting on three stone and not fitting into any clothes in “Fashion” shops.So anyway - on a bid to get slim again I’m Internet dieting as slowly as possible - so its less easier to fuck up by eating too many chocolate bars or submitting to one of my binge drinking sessions. I used to use drinking and smoking to help with weight loss but somehow now I’m nearing 30 and married it doesn’t seem suitable anymore - someone needs to tell that to Kate Moss....

Carling Academy

Carling Academy
Originally uploaded by iambigred.

Went to the Carling Academy opening on Friday night. It started off badly because Peter was meant to come with me and he had some horrible gastric bug.
Still I’d promised Jane who was interviewing the Futureheads that I’d come if she got them to say Stringmen were great, which she did. The drummer was at one of Peter’s gigs along with other Sunderland luminaries such as the Golden Virgins, Leatherface and Field Music and safe to say they blew everyone away....
But anyway as I’d done a carefully timed nostalgia piece I’d got VIP tickets - along with the rest of anyone who has anything to do with music/media in the North East. I’m not any good at talking shit to people I just like the chance to get drunk for free so that’s what I did. My old mates from the Chronicle were there, the Metro and Marie du Santiago (not her real name) who used to be in Kenickie.
I interviewed them around nine years ago which I told her, asked her what she was doing now (personnel in Preston I think but couldn’t be sure) and then stumbled to the bar. I’m 28 years old - I really must get some dignity.
The rest of the night was spend dancing, watching Field Music and the Futureheads (both good at what they do - but not my cup of tea, I like something a little heavier and crazier).
Spoke to some people, drank some more wine, then stopped (when the Futureheads came on the free bar stopped) Jane got her boyfriend who was doing the late shift until 2am to give us a lift home and I fell asleep next to my lovely husband whose gastrointestinal bug had really taken a hold, poor thing....
Nice night though and the Academy looked good - and I liked the old pics which were up, good to have a medium-sized gig venue back in the region

Dancers at the opening silly but fun

Friday night

Wooo hooo! It's Friday night and I get to get drunk tonight - woo hooo!